brace yourself.
i need to get my words out.
so i've been trying to write a post on sawyer's birthday and/or thanksgiving for the last week and i just can't seem to get it done.
y'all, i am tired.
like seriously, so. worn. out.
my friend called me today to see if i was okay.
i told her that my plate is so full.
way too full.
like one paper plate that you loaded up with thanksgiving dinner and it's too heavy and is spilling all over the sides.
but it's all so good that you don't want to take any of it off.
everything on my plate are good things.
i have no idea what to take off.
i'm not sure if something actually needs to be taken off, or this is just a really busy, harder season and i need to deal.
i do know this:
God is for me.
He is good and He allows things for my good.
life is just sometimes hard and not always supposed to be easy...although i long for easy.
this is just a season.
the next season will be different.
i have it really good.
God's grace is sufficient for me.
His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
okay other complainy thoughts that i need to get out and then i'll be done.......
i feel like i look so tired and old right now.
i also just feel tired and old right now.
i do not stop from sun up until sun down.
i never stop moving.
my list seems never ending so i don't know how to not be constantly doing something.
this is wearing on me.
but the laundry {for six people} must be done.
six people need to be fed and loved on and cared for and taught and i feel like i pour out, everyday, all day long and i don't feel like i'm getting much refreshing.
not anyone's fault, it just is what it is.
but you know what, the Bible says, those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.
so, i'm counting on that.
also, i hate complaining and i'm tempted to erase this whole thing.
but i'm not going to because maybe you feel overwhelmed, overtired and overworked as well.
and maybe i sound like a spoiled brat who needs to just be thankful for what she has...which i really, really am, by the way.
but honestly, this is the real deal.
thanks for listening.
i'll try to be sunshiny and happy tomorrow. :)
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Nope, you definitely do not sound like a spoiled brat.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a mom. And moms get tired.
I feel you, I am right there with you.
I am exhausted by this mom stuff, this day to day stuff.
But, like you said, it is a season and it will pass. And people tell me I will miss it. But I don't think I will miss the constant tiredness, the constant neediness, the unending laundry.
I am sure I will miss the closeness, the sweetness, and the love of my little kids.
Take it one day at a time, just remember, it will be later soon. :)
thank you. i teared up just reading this. it's always good to know you're not alone. ;)
DeleteVerna said it Beautifully!! You are not alone. It is partly this time of year and partly this thing called motherhood. My women's Bible study group is currently reading a book called Hurry Less, Worry Less at Christmas. The main idea is to set yourself a joy goal (or two). What do you REALLY want this Christmas season?? If there is anything preventing you from reaching that goal that is not something essential to life, remove it from your path. Easier said than done, I know. But, definitely a way to give a little perspective to those incredibly long to-do lists this time of year!
ReplyDeleteI feel ya! Literally had to stop and have a cry session with Jesus this morning. The more I tried to praise Him and be thankful the more I cried for all the reasons you said. I am thankful but "my paper plate" broke this morning and it has been a process all.day.long. Trying to pick myself up. Keep on keeping on.
ReplyDeleteyou girls have no idea how encouraging your comments are. seriously. thank you.
ReplyDeletei think you need a good dose of some time to yourself to just rest. nothing to do, no expectations.
ReplyDeletemy man took our crew out last weekend for a solid 4 hours on a saturday morning. while they sported about town getting haircuts, checking out the library and eating breakfast for lunch at perkins i had the quiet house to myself. no cooking, no cleaning, no task list. i just SAT....and it was sooo good.
do it!
organizers orders. ;)
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to *be still*." Exodus 14:14
It's helpful to hear you have your struggles and times of feeling overwhelmed too, and that overall you're still able to be cheerful and thankful (which you do so well!) brings glory to God.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to be reminded that people who are feeling weak and tired can still keep going as they cling to the Lord...not just the perfectly holy ones. : )
Best advice a wise woman gave to me:
ReplyDeleteSpread every-single-commitment you have before the Lord and let Him sift them for you. You can do this literally (individual things written on sheets of paper spread across a table) or in prayer conversation. There are so many GOOD things to do, but you don't need to do them all. I mean we can do all through Christ who strengthens, but He may not be asking you do what you think He is. Sara, you are NOT lazy and this is not an admonition or a call to become lazy. I just wanted to share that even though I only imperfectly allow the Lord to sift, He has lifted huge burdens from me. In fact, writing this reminds me it's time for another session. :)
Thank you for writing this. I feel like in the blogosphere there is so much pressure to be perfect, to be constantly happy, sunny, beautiful, and well dressed. It is nice to hear that an honest person struggles with the same things I struggle with, and turns to the Lord for help.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea to lay out all the commitments and let God sift them. And to try to remember "this too shall pass" - the good and the bad, the hard and the easy. And I think you always look great! Not tired and old. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with so much that has been written in response. I just want to say to you...it's ok to say you are tired, to get the words out, and to be honest. You are allowed to do that and you should be able to :) May the Lord bless and keep you. May He shine the light of His countenance upon you and give you peace.
ReplyDelete