i am mama

mother's day 2012

first mother's day as a mama of four.
this is my life and i know it. . . . but looking at that picture is surreal.
how did little ol' me get to be a real life mama of four kids?
a nine year old who is inching up on me faster than i'd like to admit.
a seven year old with new gaps in his teeth.
a three year old rough and tumble boy and a baby girl who has stolen our hearts fully and completely.

being a mama has changed me in every way.
it has been a slow process.
i feel more like a mama all the time.
it has become me now and i will say that i own it.
i think in the beginning i fought against it.
even as much as i absolutely loved being a mama . . . i struggled to find my way.
i didn't know how to still be me and be a mama.
i thought they were separate.

and now a decade later, i thrive in my motherhood.
i stumble and act crazy and make my kids crazy at times.
perfection is not my goal.
but neither is running from it.
i've learned that time and grace will work most things out.

this good work is a process.
layer after layer, Jesus is refining me.

i'm overwhelmed with gratitude that God would entrust these precious lives to my care.
so very thankful that they call me mama.





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